Real Men and Body Hair

I’ve decided the only way I can have enough material to ever come up with at least daily posts is to do a series. The series I’ve come up with is going to be about my thoughts on what constitutes a real man. Without further ado, post number 1 of the real men series.

A real man never goes after a single strand of hair anywhere on his body below his collarbone with a razor, scissors, clippers, or any type of wax treatment.

Real men are OK with body hair. In fact, they’re quite proud that they’ve been endowed with a sort of manly fur coating. With few exceptions a real man never shaves his: arms, legs, underarms, chest, back, feet, hands, or anywhere else below the line of his collarbone.

Above the collarbone, everything else is fair game. In fact, a real man is a meticulous groomer of the hair that grows above his collarbone, taking great care to make sure that neither his nose nor his ear ever exude excess scruff. A real man is allowed to shave his head, his face, his neck, the back of his ears, and the insides of his nose. Everywhere else is off limits.

I even hesitate to include the neck in the free-shave zone, but as a man with moderate to heavy chest hair who appreciates the freedom a good v-neck tee offers, I feel compelled to spare the rest of the world from seeing my black curlies any time I want to dawn my favorite summer shirts.

As with most rules, there are a few notable exceptions to this axiom of being a real man.

Exception #1: Men who swim competitively.

Everyone knows that a swimmer must eliminate drag. If you swim competitively, I applaud your full body shaving. Way to give yourself and added advantage over the competition.

Exception #2: Men who run long distances regularly.

IF you run long distances regularly and IF you experience nipple chaffing, then by all means, shave your chest. Not that shaving your chest is going to help with your chaffing. However, it will make placing and removing bandaids from the affected areas much cleaner and less painful. If you run more than 12 miles a week, you qualify for this exception… shave away. After all, you’ve already proven yourself as a man by your personal discipline and dedication to staying fit.

Exception #3: Men who have surgery.

If a medical professional is involved in shaving any part of your body for surgery or other procedure, you are exempt from this rule.

If you’re already abiding by the no shave below the collarbone rule, you are well on your way to becoming a real man. If not, the good thing about hair is that it grows back. It’s never too late my friend.

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About Michael

Was it Kierkegaard or Dick Van Patten who said, ''If you label me, you negate me.'' I call people amigo, bromigo, broseph, amigo, and brojangles a lot. It's a problem... I know. I also fight gangs for local charities and stuff like that, and I have a strong affinity for the fist bump as a primary means of greeting people. When I'm not doing those things, I'm busy trying to balance my efforts to be a good husband & dad, a man of God, a professional fundraiser, a friend, an amateur writer, an avid consumer of books and music, and defender of all things awesome. Check out my blog at FindingManhood.com

2 thoughts on “Real Men and Body Hair

  1. Pingback: Why do men wear undershirts? « Finding Manhood

  2. Exception 3, doing it because it’s your preference, because real men don’t let others dictating how a real man is supposed to look (:. Some in fact shave to fit in but also changing one’s mind about shaving to fit in as well in a definition of masculinity could be conformist if one have this in mind.

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